Guimaraes and the story of the magic shirt number 39

I know a lot of people who think my shirt number is weird for a player. But for me, 39 is a special number. No, it's more than that: it's a magic number, the number that brings everything to me. It took me to Newcastle, gave me food, clothes and money to buy a bus ticket to pursue my dream.

39 is the number of my father's taxi in Rio de Janeiro.

My life, at first, was very simple. I was born like every other Brazilian child. Since I was five years old, I have loved football. Kids like me play football all day on the street, with a goal made of sandals. Sometimes we even use rocks or fruit that fall on the street to make golf, and that's not good. The prize doesn't matter, whether it's a can of Coke or a bottle of Tubaina, we only play because we want to win.

I grew up in Vila Isabel, a neighborhood shadowed by the legendary Maracana stadium. This place used to allow children under 12 years old to enter the field for free, so we used to gather in groups of 20 to watch football. Watch Flamengo, Fluminense, Botafogo, Vasco... or any team, because just being on the football field is already a miracle. The players are like saints in our eyes, including the reserve goalkeeper.

I remember once my futsal team went to Sao Januario to play football and the whole Vasco team were training there. I was crazy, but back then, I didn't have a phone, and in fact, not even a piece of paper. So I ran to the bakery to ask for a napkin and begged the Vasco players: "For God's sake, please give me an autograph. I don't care even if you are a staff member!!! Please sign for me!"

It's interesting to recall now, but I'm serious. That dirty napkin has become a sacred souvenir. Even today, my mother still keeps it at home. For me, my dream is to become a saint like these players. Interestingly, my mother didn't like football at first. My father likes football, but when he asked me to try five-player football, my mother said: "No! He will become a swimmer! It is enough to have a football player like him, and two of them will die!" She tried to let me learn swimming for half a year. One day when I came home, I cried: "Mom, this is not suitable for me. Sorry, I need to play football!"

My idol is Ronaldinho, and I originally played as a winger. I was very thin then, and every time I played football all day on Saturday, I always begged my mother to let me buy a hamburger at the counter and I only received a shake of the head. Only later did I find out that our family owed a lot of money to the grocery store and could only pay it at the end of the month.

Many days I just drank water and ate sandwiches to keep from hunger. My mother worked in an auto repair shop, and my father drove a taxi. In Brazil, especially in Rio, this is a difficult life because you have to work around the clock. But that yellow cab kept my dream alive. Almost the only time I get to see my dad is Saturday, when he comes to watch me play. It's a lot of pressure, because dad is my idol. I don't want to disappoint my father, but he was really strict with me. At one point he even declared: "I'm tired of seeing you fail. I'll give you another hamburger today, provided you win."

I don't often hear players talk about this, but when I first started playing, I thought I was terrible. I used to wake up the night before the game feeling hungover and started throwing up. The headaches, the fever came and I couldn't get back to sleep. Every time I go on the field, instead of playing freely, I am just afraid of making mistakes. Every time the game happens, my heart beats faster. It is a psychological wall.

Then when I was 11, I played a game without thinking anyone was watching. Of course I shine like a god, because there's no pressure? I didn't realize that coach Mario Jorge was watching from afar with the seniors. After the game, he came to me and asked: "Bruno, I want to ask you this. Why can't you ever play like this in real matches?".

I replied: "I don't know either, sir. I feel uncomfortable, it's hard to explain."

He encouraged me: "Listen, let it all go. Just play for fun, and see what happens."

After that game, I talked to my dad and told me what I really think. I expressed my wish that he would stop putting pressure on me every time I play, because it makes me so nervous. When your hero pushes you, sometimes things get too oppressive. Thank God I listened and from that day on, everything changed.

Every time I go out on the field, I always say to myself: "Come on, it's just football. Just kick it like when you were a kid playing on the street". After that day, I broke the psychological wall and thrived. However, my journey is not a superstar's story. When I was 12 years old, I tried out at Botafogo and Fluminense, but didn't get accepted. I went through about three or four training sessions in Botafogo before I got a shake of my head. At Fluminense, I spent a year in a row taking the bus two hours after school to the training ground, only to be rejected.

For a child, it was a shock enough to knock you down, and I wanted to give up many times. But every time I was about to give up, my mother told me the story of Cafu and how he was rejected by every team. She reminds me what my dream is. From someone who just wanted me to swim, she became the biggest fan every time I went out on the field. She put her trust in me, so I tried to move on.

Thanks to my mentor Mario Jorge, I switched to a defensive midfielder when I was 13 years old. He is a proof that angels are real in the world, because he accepted me into the Audax Rio team without a team. When I was 15 years old, I had the opportunity to move to Audax Sao Paulo. It was a huge opportunity, but it meant being away from home and on my own. I will never forget the five-hour journey to Sao Paulo in Dad's golden taxi. My parents had to let me stay in a strange city with strange children, in a rundown dormitory room.

I cried the first night, and the nights after. Many other kids are like me. Every night when the lights go out, you will see other people turning their backs and starting to sob. At that age, you miss your own bed, familiar scent, dog waiting at home... And living conditions in that room with 18 bunk beds are not very good. Once I reached down my pillow to find my phone and grabbed a giant mouse. For the next week I couldn't even touch my pillow.

Many times I packed my bags and called my mother to ask for money to ride home. And she encouraged again: "Calm down. Soon, we will be together again. This is my dream and what I want."

My parents used to drive a taxi to visit me every weekend. Even on a day off, Dad couldn't get out of taxi number 39. For three years, I struggled with the academy and didn't have a professional contract by the time I was 17. This is crazy when you think about Vinicius Jr. and Endrick - the "boys" of my age then but already the star of the team. And I even had a backup plan to be a taxi like my dad. At that time, the academy salary was 400 dong per month, but it cost me 100 dong to call home alone. If I reach 18 and still can't sign a contract, I need to think realistically.

I didn't want my parents to be disappointed, so I lied that I took my driving test because I dreamed of a VW Beetle when I became a professional footballer. But the truth is that I am gradually preparing for "future life". I was only a few months away from the future of being the second "number 39" in my family, and then things went very fast.

Fernando Diniz became the new coach of Audax and during the pre-season he met me and said: "Bruninho, whatever path you choose in the future, you will become one of the best, because you have a decision. mind and will".

I wasn't signed by then, so I thought to myself: "Anyway? Are you talking about football? Or am I going to be a great taxi driver?".

"You have the soul of a great player," he explained.

At that time, I just thought he said it for fun. Next season, and I didn't get promoted to the first team by Diniz. Immediately, I assumed he was just a bum. What is this "great player soul"?

But maybe Diniz saw something in me that I didn't know myself. When I was 19 years old, he gave me a dream when he put me on the field for the Paulista - Sao Paulo state championship, and I quickly jumped at the opportunity. Everything happened in the blink of an eye: in just four years, I - from a young man taking the test for a taxi driver's license - was loaned to Club Athletico Paranaense, won the Sudamericana, moved to Lyon and reached the semi-finals of the Champions League, moved to Newcastle and achieve the ultimate dream: to play in the Premier League.

I can't explain anything but a number: 39. This is a magic number, and I will prove it to you.

When I first arrived at Athletico Paranaense, I talked to my father over the phone: "Dad, which number should I choose? 97, because I was born in 1998".

Dad insisted: "What about 39? It's more than a number. 39 gave us everything, Bruno. Your house, food, furniture, soccer shoes... All of it. from that car."

"Sounds good, Dad. Let me ask if anyone has taken that number."

I went to the headquarters to do the formalities, and when I got to the changing room, I saw that the outfit was already prepared for me. I asked the shirt manager: "I want to ask about my shirt number"

"Number? They've already chosen a number for you."

I spread out the shirt and couldn't believe my eyes: Number 39.

The employee added: "If you don't like this number, you can just ask for a change."

"Are you kidding me? Did anyone speak to my agent and know this number?"

"Huh? No, we didn't tell anyone. This is a blank number, you can change it to any number you want."

I quickly waved my hand: "No, this number is the best!"

I immediately called my father and asked if he had told anyone on the new team about number 39. He was bewildered, and when I explained, he began to cry. Even I cried. "Clearly this is a sign. You will shine here"

It was the beginning of the most beautiful period of my life, which continues to this day. When I had to sleep with rats, I didn't believe in myself. I didn't expect anything, and never thought I'd be called out like legends by the Paranaense fans. Nor did I think that the great Juninho would call me to come to Lyon one day. I also don't think I will ever wear the Brazil yellow shirt to the World Cup.

It's funny because when Newcastle signed me last year, many people warned: "You're crazy, this deal will be a disaster. This team is guaranteed relegation and you will never go to the World Championship. Cup if you come here." At that time, Newcastle was only ranked above the penultimate team. Everyone knows it's difficult, but my dream since I was 15 years old is to play in the Premier League.

So I decided to go to Newcastle. But honestly, even in my dreams, I didn't think I would experience something like this. It would be a lie to say that I knew I would love this team so much, that I knew the fans would welcome me and my family like this.

When I first came here, my mission was to help the team succeed in relegation. I still remember after a series of wins, Newcastle was still in the group holding the red light as if glued to the foot. The team couldn't get out of the 18th place.

Then in the game against Leicester City, the turning point happened and made me fall in love with this team. I scored twice and the way the Newcastle fans burned makes you feel like you don't know what fatigue is. I don't know why, but my legs feel like they can run forever. When I scored and heard the roars from the stands, I got goosebumps and knew I was actually playing in the Premier League. It's an atmosphere I've never seen, not even in Brazil. I still remember after the battle I fell down and prayed, thanking God for showing me the way here.

In the dressing room, we all knew the team wouldn't be relegated with this mentality. For me, everything that happened after that - finishing the season in 11th place, reaching the final of the League Cup... - started with that day. I hope to be a legend here. I know Newcastle can become one of the big teams.

Maybe I appreciate what I have more because of the difficulties in the past. Every time I see the boys in the number 39 shirt in Newcastle and the same platinum hair as me, my heart wants to melt. Those young fans reminded me of the old boy who ran to get autographs from Vasco players with only a napkin in his hand. Many moms have met me and complained, asking me to change my hair color because "my daughter only likes to dye her hair platinum now".

It's like 2002, when I begged my mother to let me cut my hair in a crescent shape like Ronaldo. But now as an adult, I understand that players are not saints. We are only human, we also know how to worry and know how to fail.

But football is still a magical game. My mother sweated in the garage to build my future. My father drove a taxi around the clock so I could have food and drink. Now, when he walks the streets of Newcastle - halfway around the world from Brazil, people recognize him and ask to take pictures with him.

Here he is the celebrity, the "legendary number 39". The real number 39.